Dec. 14th, 2011

oiran: cherry blossom (Default)
shut-in: Last night I psyched myself up to leave the house today. I told myself that I'd get up early (for me) and make it out to the coffeeshop to get coffee and a muffin--something I used to manage every day, but haven't been doing on a regular basis for some months now due to apathy and resignation. Of course, this was the morning that the Mr. decided to be very late for work and made a special trip back home to bring me coffee and a muffin. So. Without a specific goal, there seems to be no point to going anywhere, so I haven't and probably won't. 

As mentioned, I used to go to the coffeeshop in my neighborhood on a daily basis. I had hopes that I might somehow meet people there, but that never did happen. The closest I came to making a friend was this guy who liked to buy me coffee every now and then, but he absolutely did not want to talk to me (I tried) which I didn't really understand. I would occasionally run into my next-door neighbor there but we have never gotten any closer than trading hellos despite sharing a fence. Something I also found discouraging was the realization early on that the owners, the employees, and a large percentage of the customers who sit in the shop throughout the day are seriously Christian. People sit there with big stacks of religious books and chat earnestly with one another about bible-y things and it makes me very uncomfortable, even though a lot of them are obviously progressive hipster Christians with big Jesus tattoos. So, maybe it's just not my crowd. Unfortunately, have no idea where my crowd is, and I've had more than a decade to find it. 

I'm not getting any writing done, and haven't for years. I guess I need a job, or something job-like, to take up my time and give me a reason to leave the house. Of note, this would also justify new shoe purchases, as I am passing up lots of cute shoes due to having nowhere to wear them.

dirty old men: I have long desired a shiny new fandom, but the problem is that I just really don't see the slash in any of the things people are enthusiastic about. Imagine my horror when, watching the preview of the HBO series Luck, the slashiest thing I have seen in years was scene between wattle-necked Dustin Hoffman and Dennis Farina. Even the Mr. thought it was slashy, but there's no way I'm writing that

December 2011

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