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oiranmisssaturn.com
At the Saturday night burlesque show, wearing the second-shortest skirt* in the club, I stood up in front of a packed house and held out my hand to demand money from my husband - or anyone, really - and "won" the auction for Miss Saturn's candy-striped hula hoop. I believe there may have been other bidders, but I was already at the foot of the stage, saucy, and determined, and when the auctioneer asked if there were any more bids, I admonished the crowd, "Don't you dare!" There was lots of laughter, but I'm told they were laughing with me, not at me. My winning bid was supposed to be $30, but since Mr. G just handed me the contents of his wallet, I apparently paid more like $50.
She signed it for me, "with love," and when I accused her of committing a falsehood, she insisted otherwise and wrote "IT'S LEGIT!" on the hoop. Well, I still don't believe her, but it's funny, at any rate.
I've entirely lost the knack of keeping a hoop going for more than a few seconds. If I'm going to insist on practicing, I need to get another, cheaper hoop so I don't wear the inscription off of this one with repeated drops to the floor.
*This was just a little contest between me and the world, no prizes awarded. I had been really hoping for the shortest skirt and I thought I had it in the bag until some short person showed up with the undercurve of her ass hanging out below her hem. Where does a 5' girl find a skirt short enough to leave her ass hanging out??? Still, I had the best legs. Yes, even in a room full of nubile young things and burlesque performers, I still had the best legs. Hey, I know my good points.
At the Saturday night burlesque show, wearing the second-shortest skirt* in the club, I stood up in front of a packed house and held out my hand to demand money from my husband - or anyone, really - and "won" the auction for Miss Saturn's candy-striped hula hoop. I believe there may have been other bidders, but I was already at the foot of the stage, saucy, and determined, and when the auctioneer asked if there were any more bids, I admonished the crowd, "Don't you dare!" There was lots of laughter, but I'm told they were laughing with me, not at me. My winning bid was supposed to be $30, but since Mr. G just handed me the contents of his wallet, I apparently paid more like $50.
She signed it for me, "with love," and when I accused her of committing a falsehood, she insisted otherwise and wrote "IT'S LEGIT!" on the hoop. Well, I still don't believe her, but it's funny, at any rate.
I've entirely lost the knack of keeping a hoop going for more than a few seconds. If I'm going to insist on practicing, I need to get another, cheaper hoop so I don't wear the inscription off of this one with repeated drops to the floor.
*This was just a little contest between me and the world, no prizes awarded. I had been really hoping for the shortest skirt and I thought I had it in the bag until some short person showed up with the undercurve of her ass hanging out below her hem. Where does a 5' girl find a skirt short enough to leave her ass hanging out??? Still, I had the best legs. Yes, even in a room full of nubile young things and burlesque performers, I still had the best legs. Hey, I know my good points.
