birthday / atlanta / spring
Mar. 29th, 2005 12:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oiranI had some e-mail trouble related to our server such that I could neither send nor receive, nor could I use webmail. Things are all better now. I know that a few people wished me (well, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
velvetglove) a happy birthday, and I want to say 1) thank you! and 2) I'll be responding to those posts today and/or tomorrow.
my birthday: upbeat version: My birthday was great!!!
the truth: Not only did my birthday fall on a creepy religious holiday, the dark cloud that was me turning 39 (*thirty-fucking-NINE!!!*) brought on an actual thunder and lightning storm which, in turn, compelled the dog to bark incessantly. As a bonus, a large, painful pimple bloomed smack in the middle of my face--providing the proof that I am young at heart, I suppose. I spent the day feeling morose and sorry for myself and ignored reality in favor of searching out pictures of specific sexy strangers. Finding arty nudes of one subject was an unexpected pleasure, but it was somewhat mitigated by the discovery that the nude in question is young enough to be my son. Most days I find that pretty damn hot, but apparently my birthday isn't one of those days.
next year: Oddly, I'm still jazzed about the idea of turning 40 - it seems sexy. Thirty-nine doesn't seem sexy. I hadn't thought much about 39, and maybe I ought to have done so - as it was, it bothered me much more than I anticipated. I've never really worried about growing older because I have this notion I don't look particularly old, or at least that I look pretty good regardless. Rather, my age-related worries have to do with actions, and what I see as a distinct lack of accomplishments. For the last couple of years, writing decent gay porn was enough, but lately I'm not as generous with myself. I do need to do something I feel proud of before another year has passed, as I'm pretty low on the pride-bolstering achievements at the moment. I should be able to do that, right? Just one good thing? I'd love to actually finish writing something publishable, but at the moment I feel that I'd gladly settle for a good deed in pretty much any category.
Atlanta: My car is at the dealership being serviced so that Rhi and I can drive to Atlanta without any chance of mechanical delay. Speaking of which, I know that Rhi has asked around a bit, so I will, too: if you're in the Atlanta area and think you might want to try to meet up over the coming weekend, let one of us know. Also, which clubs are best for watching boys kiss? The online reviews of various places are not proving particularly helpful.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I should go outside and enjoy it.
velvetglove) a happy birthday, and I want to say 1) thank you! and 2) I'll be responding to those posts today and/or tomorrow. my birthday: upbeat version: My birthday was great!!!
the truth: Not only did my birthday fall on a creepy religious holiday, the dark cloud that was me turning 39 (*thirty-fucking-NINE!!!*) brought on an actual thunder and lightning storm which, in turn, compelled the dog to bark incessantly. As a bonus, a large, painful pimple bloomed smack in the middle of my face--providing the proof that I am young at heart, I suppose. I spent the day feeling morose and sorry for myself and ignored reality in favor of searching out pictures of specific sexy strangers. Finding arty nudes of one subject was an unexpected pleasure, but it was somewhat mitigated by the discovery that the nude in question is young enough to be my son. Most days I find that pretty damn hot, but apparently my birthday isn't one of those days.
next year: Oddly, I'm still jazzed about the idea of turning 40 - it seems sexy. Thirty-nine doesn't seem sexy. I hadn't thought much about 39, and maybe I ought to have done so - as it was, it bothered me much more than I anticipated. I've never really worried about growing older because I have this notion I don't look particularly old, or at least that I look pretty good regardless. Rather, my age-related worries have to do with actions, and what I see as a distinct lack of accomplishments. For the last couple of years, writing decent gay porn was enough, but lately I'm not as generous with myself. I do need to do something I feel proud of before another year has passed, as I'm pretty low on the pride-bolstering achievements at the moment. I should be able to do that, right? Just one good thing? I'd love to actually finish writing something publishable, but at the moment I feel that I'd gladly settle for a good deed in pretty much any category.
Atlanta: My car is at the dealership being serviced so that Rhi and I can drive to Atlanta without any chance of mechanical delay. Speaking of which, I know that Rhi has asked around a bit, so I will, too: if you're in the Atlanta area and think you might want to try to meet up over the coming weekend, let one of us know. Also, which clubs are best for watching boys kiss? The online reviews of various places are not proving particularly helpful.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I should go outside and enjoy it.
