birds do it

[oiran]

So, the Mr. and I were in the kitchen continuing a discussion that was, at least at the beginning, about Brian Wilson's Smile, while I prepared breakfast (okay, brunch) for our various birds. Retrieving the dirty dishes from the parakeets' cage, I also removed a new egg that sat, cold and dented, on the scattered seed husks on their floor. Iris, the female bird, is certainly a child-free personality, and I suspect that she doesn't even bother getting down from her perch, but just lets the eggs drop where they may. I take the eggs away from them on the remote chance that they might show an interest in seeing an egg through to the end, which is something the Mr. and I definitely don't want to be involved in. (I like the eggs as objects, though. Today's egg was exceptionally small and cute and hardly dented at all.) On returning to the kitchen, I made a remark about birds being notoriously private about their sexual behavior, as well as about laying eggs. Although our lovebird has laid somewhere in the range of 200 eggs over the years, I've seen her produce only two. As for sex, The Mr. could not recall ever having seen birds mate, and I had seen it happen only once, and for mere seconds, on a dogwood branch outside the kitchen window.

Because we were still talking, if only tangentially, about Smile, the Mr. followed me and the parakeets' breakfast into the room where they were, as always, making a racket. I was looking back over my shoulder as I spoke, but when I turned to look at the cage...

Wow.

Sex! Actual bird mating activity! And nothing like what I saw outside the kitchen window, that's for certain. Berry was hunched on top of Iris, looking much more purposeful than we've seen him. An unusually submissive Iris twisted her neck around so they could "kiss." Berry was all puffed up, had a wing wrapped around Iris' back and chest for leverage and was, well, banging away. Although the noises they were making were the the noises they always make, in this new context they were kind of disturbing. It was...almost hot. It looked more like human sex than any other animal mating I've ever seen, making both the Mr. and I more than a little uncomfortable. And they just kept doing it! They didn't stop! The Mr. and I gawked, mouths hanging open and eyes wide, but the birds just kept on shamelessly humping! Finally, after several minutes of explicit bird action, they broke apart, reverting almost instantly to their usual smooth, bland, bead-eyed selves.

Iris is a bitch, both to us and to Berry. She bites and complains, and she literally henpecks Berry into doing things she considers potentially dangerous (i.e., examining new toys), but now it's vividly clear how they achieve balance in their relationship. Go, Berry!

As for theories of avian privacy issues, my whole worldview has been altered.

Comments

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

This post totally cracked me up.
Btw, I don't think I ever saw birds mating, in vivo or on TV.

[oiran.livejournal.com]

It's supposedly a "rare" thing to see. Our bigger birds both exhibit what a scientist would probably refer to as "sexual display" behaviors, and the lovebird spends a great deal of time masturbating (loudly! often amusingly!), but neither has a mate. I suppose, based on the way they act now, that they'd probably get busy with a partner in front of us, but I'd always assumed otherwise, as most paired birds (in zoos, at our bird-sitter's aviary) really do like privacy.

Because of the way they're built, birds have to contort themselves in a manner that seems - on paper, as well as during the one brief occasion I glimpsed it happening in the "wild" - awkward and thus almost necessarily fleeting. Apparently, the several years that Berry and Iris have spent together have allowed them to become almost embarassingly adept.

In light of what I'd just been saying to Mr. G, I'm a little bit delighted and a little bit creeped out by the timing of their carnal display.

[timian.livejournal.com]

I love it when you post, and this was totally hilarious.

[oiran.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and thank you again. It was so...edifying! Yes, edifying - that's a mature way to put it, I think.

I am a bit disturbed by the timing of their little floor show, considering what I'd just been saying to the Mr. I know they're smart, but I'm not sure I want them to be smart enough to argue with me, or to refute even my loosely-held beliefs through wanton demonstration. I'm perfectly comfortable with them being merely pretty, noisy, and wasteful of birdseed.

[carlfinnegan.livejournal.com]

My old bird at my parents' house masterbates frequently. He/she has it down to quite a skill. I can't say it's not slightly unsettling.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

You're going to write bird porn now, aren't you.

I've seen sparrows having sex. They sort of hop around with the male on top, and flutter a bit. It's quite pretty actually.

However, slugs having sex is totally erotic.

[allpurposegirl.livejournal.com]

this whole post had me giggling.

[gothphyle.livejournal.com]

I'm taking this post as a sign. I found the most delightful petshop today, with at least 30 different species of hand-fed baby birds, ranging from the naked and just-hatched all the way up to the gorgeous and fully feathered. They had a pen full of the most adorable cockatiel babies, and one hopped over to "talk" to me, and then climbed up my arm/hand to give me a kiss. I so wanted him/her, as I've really been longing for another bird, and now...

Well, since you posted about birds, it's clearly a sign I nedd to commit and buy!

[kateo.livejournal.com]

Illuminating! I've not seen any of our feeder birds having sex, even though the cowbirds and doves are often quite demonstrative within their couplings -- the male cowbirds and doves routinely chase and taunt the females. It reminds me of third grade.

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

This made me laugh and laugh! My brother's cockatiels do it allllllllll the time.