sex scene confusion

[oiran]

Things that confound me in sex scenes in fic.

Disclaimer: These things confound me. However, they also do appear in stories I love (well, except for the dirty talk thing).

"Take the edge off." I have never said this, or heard anyone say it. The concept is not unfamiliar, and it is certainly useful with excitable young men, but it just seems…unlikely to be announced, I guess. And I've had sex with lots of people, so it's not that I'm unfamiliar with the breadth and variety of sexual experience.

Terminology: I understand the clinical utility of "pre-come" or "pre-cum" but I've never heard anyone discuss it using those terms during a sexual act, and I certainly haven't thought it myself. I prefer to use descriptive phrases that I've actually encountered and those tend to be pretty rudimentary and without a timeline.

Dirty talk: I become quickly annoyed with sex scenes where people are "talking dirty" by discussing sex they aren't having. But they are having sex; just not the sex they're talking about. However, they could totally get up and change location or position and actually be having that sex that is apparently so much more compelling than the sex they're actually participating in. Such as, people fucking in the barn, but talking about how hot it is to fuck in a car. They could go get in the car and fuck; there's nothing stopping them from doing so. Does this mean that if they were in the car, they'd be waxing rhapsodic over the barn's erotic potential? If someone was trying to involve me in this kind of dirty talk in real life, I'd laugh at them. Either that, or get annoyed and cut them off from the sex that they were, until they opened their tedious fucking mouth, actually participating in.

To tell the truth, most dirty talking in fic or RL strikes me as laughable. I am a skeptical person and most of it strikes me as being unfounded or unlikely. It's not the kind of thing that's supposed to be analyzed, I suppose, but it seems kind of pathological and maybe rude to go on and on and on about how great some other kind of sex would be while you're participating in something entirely else. I also get upset about illogic in television commercials, so I clearly put my energies into the wrong things.

To lube or not to lube:I realize everyone is different, but I think that anyone who writes ass-fucking without lube should have to try it first and see how much fun they think it is. I can guarantee at least 90% fewer lubeless fucks in fic.

If those things happen in real-life for you and you don't mind telling me, I'd be interested to know, just to know that they do resonate with someone. And I think of these things because I am doing a "commentary" for Primary and I'm just really pleased with these sex scenes ;)

And btw, I am still only halfway through my crack_van rec covers and I'm fully aware of that. I think with my recent computer troubles settled and my holiday inertia now nearly fully gone, I am ready to get going again.

Comments

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

Do you wanna read what I've written of Superstar? Tell me if it sucks. There are no lubeless fucks, I promise.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Of course I want to read it. Can I send you what I've got of...two stories? Maybe? I have to look at them again.

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

Yeppers!! :D

[mayphoenix.livejournal.com]

You hit on one of my BIGGEST fanfic pet peeves, the Lubeless Fuck. I'm sorry, but unless your ass is as wide-open as the Holland Tunnel, there ain't NO WAY you're getting that dick in it without SOME kind of lube. And I don't mean a handful of spit, either. Spit is NOT a lubricant for anal sex. Unless you've got a really wet drooler. ;)

Another one for me? Unrealistic Sexual Positions. I had a writer send me a story wherein the two guys started out fucking while standing up in a bathtub. WHILE STILL ATTACHED, they climb OUT of the tub, WALK to the sink, where they continue. Please note the person doing the fucking was SHORTER than his partner. As Adam would say, "It ain't gonna happen."

I write from experience. If I haven't tried it myself, then I've talked at length and in great, gory detail with someone who has (because I will NEVER let someone put a fist in MY ass). Also, it's good not to get all your info from a single source. Variety is the spice of life. ;) I can always tell someone whose only experience is gay porn videos, romance novels, or The Joy of Gay Sex (or other overviewed instructional manual).

As for dirty talk? Depends on the character. Some strike me as "talkers" or "yodellers," while others may be the silent type.

[digitalwave]

Okay Tam,

This just made me spew my coke: 'unless your ass is as wide-open as the Holland Tunnel'

:) God, I so love the way you can turn a phrase! :)

*hugs*

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Hee! I know there are people who claim that lubeless anal sex is very doable, and I suppose it is if you have a lot of time to physically prepare and blah, blah, blah, exceptions to the rule, etc., but that isn't usually how the scenario is written.

I try to only write things that I've done, and since I have no penis, my very best, educated guesses. I'm with you on the fist/ass combination, however. A few browses through fisting websites, with the plethora of blue tarps and giant tubs of Crisco in evidence, has convinced me that I'm probably never going to try that particular activity. And even though I've written a Clark/Lex fisting scene that I might use some day, it's only plausible to me because Clark has a special, alien ass. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

I'm rather fond of banter myself. I can lose interest easily if the talk seems puerile. But really the only definite turn-off for me is the scenario I describe...I just want to tell the characters to go do whatever they're talking about since there is no bar to them doing so. I mean, it would be one thing to imagine having sex on Mars or something, but if you want to fuck in the car, you can just go down to the garage and do so.

Maybe I'm a literal-minded bore. Huh. Could be. ;)

[lexcorp-hope.livejournal.com]

I reckon it depends on the ass, because spit can be a perfectly acceptable lube. I will not go to the TMI place, but sharing that there is a TMI place should indicate that I'm not, heh, just talking out my ass.

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

If you are a literal minded bore, I worry for the rest of the world.

I like dirty talk mostly when it's being used as foreplay or on the phone. I don't think I've read many stories where lube isn't mentioned. I'd certainly never do that with spit. *shudder*

[jack-pride.livejournal.com]

Let me prelude this by saying that I've never written a lubeless sex scene, and I agree that many of those I've read have struck me as implausible.

That said. If the bottom is very relaxed and the entrance is very slow, it is possible. I'm talking no lube, no spit, and no condom. This does not have to be an experienced bottom; in fact I have it on excellent authority that it could be the bottom's first time. No pain, and a good time had by both.

[nuptse.livejournal.com]

"Take the edge off."
In this scenario, I usually imagine it ordered up as an appetizer, like a shrimp cocktail or baked potato skins.
"Would you like to take the edge off?"
"Sure, I'll have an order of these, because I'm *famished*."
In my experience, men have two modes: hungry and horny. Once they've accomplished sating one, the other becomes a priority. But however horny, once you've come, you've come. Time for a sandwich.

Terminology:
Pre spunk? The dribbles? Whoever's talking about it needs to hush and get to the sucking. You're wasting time.

Dirty talk:
I must not have encountered one of these fics. Hmm... although, I do find dirty talk exciting in some instances.

To lube or not to lube:
Um, not to get into TMI, but yes, I feel lube is mandatory. And not just anything lying around like soap or shampoo. I would imagine spit could be used, with proper preparation, but not for a fast and dirty fuck like I usually seen written.