play with me

[oiran]

A round of ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies...

Seen everywhere, but most recently in tynantblue0162's journal*: Invent a memory of me and post it in the comments. It can be anything you want, so long as it's something that's never happened. Then, of course, post this to your journal and see what people would like to remember of you, only the universe failed to cooperate in making it happen so they had to make it up instead.

Or, you know, a real memory would be okay, too. It would be interesting to see which looked more improbable, the real or the imagined.

Or, as seen in rivier's journal: Invent a fanfiction I wrote and post about it in the comments. It can be anything you want, so long as it is something that I never wrote. Give me feedback! Mention your favourite quote! Flame me! Illustrate it! You know you want to.

Fun. You play, and I'll play back. Make stuff up. Or not.

* where we are continuing to fight about what to name the kids

Comments

[justblue0162.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jed, I'm speechless over here. I just finished your absolutely *breathtaking* Lex/Pete/Martha story, Lemon Pledge, and I just have to tell you how much I loved it. I've been a closet Plexer for a while now, so I was completely overjoyed to see that you'd written them together. They were so sweet!! Pete's confession scene had me in tears. And the first time they made love, after Lex had gone through so much to return the creamed corn factory to Pete's family, it was so beautiful for them to lose their virginity to each other right there on top of the stainless steel vat of corn. *swoon*

And then!! You rip my heart out when Martha finds them. You did such a fabulous job builing up the Martha/Pete relationship, even though I knew she was just a substitute for Lex, it was so cute the way they bonded over household detergents! But poor Martha. When they have that final threesome on Clark's bed, I was so sad for her, even with the strap-on. She knew Pete really didn't love her, so she gave him to Lex. So beautiful!!

:) It really is a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it with us!

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I really, really mean that. I love all of my fans.

And the first time they made love, after Lex had gone through so much to return the creamed corn factory to Pete's family

I'm so glad you realized they were "making love" and not just having sex. Admittedly, I did have Pete hollering, "You're making love to me!!! You're making love to me with your velvet-skinned rod!!!" while writhing on top of the vat, but some people might not have understood the subtleties of my prose style. Because it wasn't just sex for them. It was a symbolic shedding of the animosities between their respective Heartland dynasties and I think it hurt a little, you know? Hurting while it healed. That scene was my nod to the BDSM community, btw. I have received dozens of e-mails thanking me for explaining the BDSM lifestyle to fandom in a cohesive, concise, and caring way. Personally, I'm not into that shit, but I'm just that good of a writer that I can believably tell stories about things completely outside my range of interests and accomplishments. You deserve a lot of credit for being one of the people who realizes that about me :)

knew she was just a substitute for Lex, it was so cute the way they bonded over household detergents!

Well, only Pete really understands (and respects) Martha's struggles with her OCD/drunken cleaning frenzies. I think the scene where they embrace on the wet, soapy bathroom tile and he lovingly brushes her hair with her scrub brush and then comforts her with a hot beef injection is one of the most emotionally sensitive passages I've ever written.

When they have that final threesome on Clark's bed, I was so sad for her, even with the strap-on. She knew Pete really didn't love her, so she gave him to Lex.

I expected the scene where they sign paperwork transferring ownership of Pete from Martha to Lex would be controversial, but none of those "special interest groups" have come after me yet.

I'm thinking about writing a sequel where Clark smells the scent of passionate lovemaking on his sheets and realizes that Martha is a woman first, his adoptive mother second. They're not really related, you know. And Clark looks way older than 17.

[stone-princess.livejournal.com]

I expected the scene where they sign paperwork transferring ownership of Pete from Martha to Lex would be controversial, but none of those "special interest groups" have come after me yet.

Funniest non-PC sidelong comment ever.

I'm thinking about writing a sequel where Clark smells the scent of passionate lovemaking on his sheets and realizes that Martha is a woman first, his adoptive mother second. They're not really related, you know. And Clark looks way older than 17.

And now the funny has been replaced with the disturbing in a totally non-hot way.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Funniest non-PC sidelong comment ever.

What are you insinuating? You're one of those dirty special-interest-group lovers, aren't you?

And now the funny has been replaced with the disturbing in a totally non-hot way.

Hmm...well, try picturing it with Pete in there, too. Is that any better?

[stone-princess.livejournal.com]

Hmm...well, try picturing it with Pete in there, too. Is that any better?

Oh look! My lunch just met the floor!

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Does the idea of three people having sex together upset you that much?

Your conventional notions of what constitutes a relationship are probably getting in the way of your happiness.

[stone-princess.livejournal.com]

I love you. I haven't laughed so hard days. Weeks maybe.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

I love you, too.

And since you didn't give me a memory, I'll give you one:

When I was so drunk I couldn't walk, you convinced me to take off my high heels and lean on your arm, and you practically carried me away from the bar. The sidewalk was cold, and I stepped on broken glass and sat down on the curb to look at the sole of my foot. You were talking to me for a long time before I realized that the noises were words. You said, "...too much vodka and not enough bacon. You need balance in your life." I pulled myself upright on a parking meter and made these pawing motions in the air that you understood meant I wanted you to help me keep moving. We walked along the sidewalk and I left these bloody half-footprints behind for a couple of blocks. I was going to remember to go back and take a picture of them in the morning, but then I forgot.

that could have happened, don't you think?

[stone-princess.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of memories, but I couldn't think of real one's that weren't inappropriate and I got distracted from fun fictional ones by trying defend my own ranting in my own LJ.

Yes, that totally could have happened. Wait! Didn't that happen? *looks confused*