automasochistic tendencies

[oiran]

Internet connection has been iffy and I have been correspondingly lazy. Betas...? Haven't done them. Will do shaggirl's posthaste. Well, after I get some ice cream.

Rode my bike today. Headwinds both directions - so unfair. The gleeful monster in my head kept taunting and goading: It's just pain, you big, stupid baby. Eventually it will stop. Pedal harder! Did a few laps around the parking area just to let my body reabsorb the lactic acid (funny, but I don't enjoy puking). Would have forced myself to ride another long loop along the trail except my vision was going hazy from overexertion. It's probably just as well I don't have a riding friend; I'm not a fun person to ride with. I'm...automasochistic, I suppose. Because, see, if anyone else tries to hurt me, I'll kill them.

I'm trying to organize myself a bit for even just registering with temp agencies. I am looking at my resume with trepidation and, frankly, disinterest. Part of me is trying to imagine what I want for a "career," and the other part is just thinking, "fuck it." My resume looks...preposterous. The document describes an uneducated secretary who somehow cured cancer for a few years. And there's the issue of the year and a half gap between last job and the present day, as well as the fact that I'm not sure I can count on my last job to give me anything other than a lackluster review for a number of irritating reasons that are completely unrelated to my actual job performance.

I could not sleep last night for worrying just about the possible inadequacy of my resume. I finally fell asleep about 7:30 this morning, after moving from bed #1 to bed #2 to the couch and drinking some coffee. For whatever reason, drinking coffee seems to end the nervous insomnia in a manner akin to a brick to the head. Or so I'm guessing.

On top of my anxiety, you would not believe how little employers here think they need to pay people. For some reason, there is a mass delusion that $7/hr is a living wage. I made $23/hr or so at my last job. I know I can't make that here, much less while temping, but it seems like an insult to expect someone to actually care about the effort they put in for your business when you obviously don't value the work, either.

My reasons for wanting a job at all:
1. Make Mr. Glove happy and contribute to household in some way.
2. Be able to justify having some of the brand-new emerald-green leather goods from Coach.

That's it. I have no further goals that I believe can be achieved via paid employment.

Just deleted a number of boring paragraphs about the minutiae of my life. As it is, I have been leaking friends from my list like sand through a sieve, probably because I talk too much about things other than Smallville. Fine. Be that way.

Comments

[estrella30.livejournal.com]

*pets*

I sweat to god, I read your whole post, and I do hope everything works out well with the resume and the job, but all I can seem to grasp is:

ooooo! Pretty!Green!Coach bags!

Thanks for the link!

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Aren't they just so good? That green is mouthwatering. I think I can quite easily justify the little wristlet purse, provided I can fit my phone inside...

[twigged.livejournal.com]

Er... I already archived my fic, so no need at all for the beta at this point.

And Coach merchandise is well worth having a job for.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

So, how much do I suck? On a scale of 1-10, say. You can use decimals if that helps any.

I have a bunch of Coach bags, but all except for two are black. Okay, just saying that makes me feel like a greedy leather ho. But I still want more in COLORS.

[bluesheart.livejournal.com]

Good luck on the job search. It is rather dishearting to find out how little they want to pay someone but they want the person who know everything under the sun.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

When I first moved back to Nashville, I did look around for work a bit. I remember an ad for some sort of web design job that sounded initially quite interesting, but the requirements were for expertise in basically every graphics and web-related program possible, a master's degree (????) and fluency in French or Spanish, but preferably both...for that magic $7 an hour. I wanted to send them a letter saying "fuck you."

I wish there were a well-paying job writing porn that I could apply for.

[ex-marcasit.livejournal.com]

You know I do med. trans. part time at home, right? If you're really interested in trying to find some extra cash, you could try to find something p.r.n. via telecommuting, unless you dread the thought of going back to that line of work...

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Actually, it was just recently that Rhi told me that you do medical transcription. I have mixed feelings about doing it again, but the main problem is that I am so bad at self-motivating that telecommuting is basically a horrible idea. And part of Mr. Glove's deal is wanting me to LEAVE THE HOUSE. But if I reconsider, I'll probably hit you up for contacts ;)

It's a lot easier for me to justify a fancy green purse if I go out into society on a more regular basis, and getting some sort of work would certainly facilitate the out-and-about idea...

[fromward.livejournal.com]

All the best with the job search. :) And feel free to ramble away, it's your LJ. I like reading your posts anyway.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And thank you ;)

[pun.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you know this, but you don't have to do a chronological resume. You can do a "skills based" resume or what have you. There are lots of web sites with examples.

As it is, I have been leaking friends from my list like sand through a sieve

Yup. Me too. I figure it's a combination of lack of SV content and, well, lack of any content these days.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

I think that's what I'm going to have to do, but it's been a few years and I do need to look up some sort of "accepted" formats for a non-chron style. Because I will, after all, have to give dates and places somewhere, right?

I tend to think that "liking Smallville" is the least-interesting thing about anyone on my f-list.

And I can't imagine anyone not being interested in Pun.

p.s. what did you think of the televised TKD during the Olympics? I enjoyed it, but I had some issues with the commentators and all that entails...

why don't you ask me what I *reeeally* think?

[pun.livejournal.com]

Well, first of all, they could not have picked a more inconvenient weekend for me so I only saw about half the coverage (including waiting and waiting for Lopez and then having them do a promo for Lopez and then deciding to show an entire women's volleyball match first so I had to leave and didn't get to see him at all), but much of it was cool. The women's flyweight early round I saw couldn't have been duller, but other than that I enjoyed the matches.

Moon's matches were awesome, of course. The final was exciting for the knockout, but I prefered his first round because we got to see him in action more.

As for the commentary, it was awful!! First of all why did he keep saying "turning back kick"? What the hell is a turning back kick?! You always have to turn to do a back kick. How else would one do it? I think he maybe meant step-forward back kick, but it was just so dumb!

And then with all the boxing comparisons. A hopping roundhouse isn't a jab! It's a hopping roundhouse. If you want to jab, you JAB! We have punching. Not to the face, mind you, but that's because we're not wearing gloves!

Which brings me to my primary point, which is that basically it seemed like the announcers were very defensive of TKD and wanted to keep assuring viewers that we're not a bunch of pussies. I felt like all the boxing analogies were part of that, plus how he kept saying how much it hurts to be kicked. I mean, DUH! I don't know what it would be like to turn on my t.v. and see TKD sparring for the first time, but I can't imagine it would really look all that easy and pain-free. I mean, does the chest protector really look all that substantial? Let me tell ya', it ain't! Boxers wear gloves, no one accuses them of being soft.

So yeah, all I can say is, if you think Tae Kwon Do-ists are pussies, why don't you come over here and say that to my face! Or better yet, why don't you go say it to Moon Dae-Sung's face. (not you, you, jed, but the American viewers you)

Heh. So yes, my answer to that couldn't have possibly failed to be long and belligerent. Tell me more about your impressions.

Re: why don't you ask me what I *reeeally* think?

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Well, the only two matches I saw in full were the gold medal round for the flyweights, and those I saw by (happy) accident. I had problems with the commentary for a number of reasons:

1. I really know nothing about TKD except for the little I've gleaned from talking to you. It would have been nice for the commentators to talk a bit more about TKD and its rules and practice, rather than making the boxing comparisons.


2. Even more annoying than the boxing comparisons, I wanted them to stop apologizing to the viewers for how it didn't look like much was going on and that, yes, it hurts to be kicked hard.


3. I suppose this goes with the "explain TKD" part of my complaint, but I was puzzled by the complete lack of arm movement by the competitors. I know that people move their arms in TKD, even if the feet/legs are the primary hitting mechanisms. I would have liked to know why (and, frankly, how) the competitors kept their arms still - probably for judging purposes, but it seemed very strange.


4. One of the commentators kept reacting, seemingly nervously, to the, er, vocalizations by the competitors. And the guy (whose name I'm sure you know) who won the flyweight gold did make incredibly freaky, high-pitched shrieks that were scary in and of themselves, but still... Incidentally, I did think that Gold Medal Guy was very sexy in a bird-boned, freaky-voiced, big-nosed, ass-kicking manner. This was my Olympics to crush hard on the Chinese.


5. More aerial shots would have been nice because, well, then the uninitiated could certainly see what was going on. Whirlwinds of ass-kicking activity!

So. I may have missed some sort of great intro to TKD due to simply turning on the TV a few minutes late, but that still wouldn't explain the commentators pretty much ignoring TKD entirely in favor of boxing and apologies.

[rhyo.livejournal.com]

Yes, I have been getting the "are you ever going to get a job" speech, but I am firmly holding to my answer: "NO!"

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

If I didn't want frivolous, shiny things in quantity (which, unfortunately, I do want), I could probably stave off the "are you ever going to get a job?" questions indefinitely. And, admittedly, there's no real need for, say, another purse or some fancy shoes if I'm only going to stay at home in my pajamas for the rest of my life.

Also, I have so not written a novel in this year and a half, which was one of the things I thought (vaguely) I might do. I've written a novel's worth of stuff, but that isn't exactly the same thing (again, unfortunately). As is so apparent from reading my list, having a job (temp or permanent) is no impediment to writing full-time ;)