take a chill pill / 3 questions/ sequin update

[oiran]

I am finding my own attitude very ugly these last couple of days. I have such a greedy skull, I'm never satisfied, and then I sulk. Of course, it's in good portion due to hormones, but I can't discount that I'm not feeling very pretty on the inside lately as a completely separate issue.

any 3 questions: Anyone want to ask me anything? Or, rather, three anythings? I'm in a tell-all mood... And I think you're supposed to ask people to do the same, but I won't hold you to it.

I finished Kicky's skirt. It's about an inch too big in the waist, which means I have to pick everything out again, at least at the waist. I think the weight of the fabric pulled it out a bit. Well, now I know for next time I sew a sequin mermaid-ish skirt with a train and detachable double ruffle. However, she's going to go ahead and wear it as-is to the photo shoot next week. At that time, I hope to have photos to show everyone how fabulous my skillz are. I'm really proud of this. I know it's got incredibly limited utility, but it's just damn cool in its little category. And, I made it. I hadn't made anything in about two years, and all of those were fat clothes, for me, and not shiny or pretty. Once I've got this project out of the way, I can work on the jacket for myself that I've got all planned out.

Comments

Very stupid questions off the top of my head

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

1) If you could have a clone made of yourself and sleep with it, would you?

2) If space aliens landed on this planet, and offered you power over half the planet in exchange for helping them conquer it, would you take them up on it?

3) What is the scariest thing, for you, about liking women?

Re: Very stupid questions off the top of my head

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

1) Hmmmm...maybe? If it were truly just like me, she'd get on my nerves. Whiny, demanding, lazy, contrary, smart, depressed. I'm not exactly a barrel of monkeys, you know? Also, although I think I'm attractive enough, I'm not really my "type." But if I had a clone, I think I'd almost be obligated to fuck her because--hey--clone.

2) Yes. Because I'm a selfish, bad person with an unhealthy backlog of revenge fantasies. If the aliens looked anything like Tom Welling as opposed to, say, Alf, I'd probably not even care about the planet-half business. It would also depend on what they wanted to do in the post-conquer period. If they were into ritual slaughter, I'd probably want to cut some sort of deal to curtail that a bit up front. But now I'm wondering what it would be about me that would make them think I'd be a good planet-ruling partner. Do they like gay porn? Sequins? Mix CDs?

3) That they're women, and they're therefore much meaner than men. I'm woefully unsuccessful with girls. I've been burned way worse by women than men. Years and years ago, I was afraid to go into a women's bar, got my courage up, and I was promptly picked on by a bunch of mullet-headed bulldykes. No one punched me, but it sucked. With guys, it's much simpler to know what they want (i.e., sex). Also, I've never had men gang up on me and call me names because I was wearing a skirt. Of course, now that I've been married to a boy for years, it's impossible to convince girls that I am actually attracted to girls--apparently, I nullified that by getting boy germs on me. Feh. Now I'm depressed.

Re: Very stupid questions off the top of my head

[anathema666.livejournal.com]

Years and years ago, I was afraid to go into a women's bar, got my courage up, and I was promptly picked on by a bunch of mullet-headed bulldykes.

Women with mullets had the nerve to pick on you? And they had MULLETS? There is something desperately wrong with that.

Not all women are like that. *pets your mullet-wearing-lesbian-bully-fearing self*


Of course, now that I've been married to a boy for years, it's impossible to convince girls that I am actually attracted to girls--apparently, I nullified that by getting boy germs on me.

I believe you, but I'm sorta on the fringe of the queer community myself. Bisexuality ain't a cakewalk, that's for sure. And people think it's "trendy"... *rolls eyes* Fuck that noise! It's damn hard - boys think you're just pretending to dig the chicks to try to spice yourself up or to entertain him, and girls think you're contaminated.

Re: Very stupid questions off the top of my head

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

I get fed up with people and their...peopley bullshit pretty quickly. The entire political climate of Seattle lesbianism was just fucking irritating. I was always too girly, and clearly seen as untrustworthy and tainted. Also, I like girls to look like girls, not faux-men, and I could never find those women except when they were already paired up.

Nothing can make me dislike a man quicker than him assuming that I'm feigning interests to lure him in. I take my interest in a given girl much more seriously than my interest in a guy; it usually has a basis beyond 'ooh, shiny!' I'm quite sexist. I tend to think of boys as toys or tools, and women as people.

Re: Very stupid questions off the top of my head

[mei-x.livejournal.com]

I was always too girly, and clearly seen as untrustworthy and tainted. Also, I like girls to look like girls, not faux-men, and I could never find those women except when they were already paired up.

If I liked girls, that would be the type I'd like. The ones who look like girls, I mean.

Re: Very stupid questions off the top of my head

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

Everyone likes gay porn and sequins. I don't think you're nullified by boy germs. Bisexuals do exist. Perhaps you should have your own hour on Showtime to get the word out. Kinsey didn't come up with that scale for no reason.

Re: Very stupid questions off the top of my head

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

My own show? Let's see...we'll call it the Surly Pajama Hour, and I'll complain about how I don't get enough love, try to get people of all varieties to make out with me, and drink lots of coffee. There will be a few moments of silence to bask in the glory that is my hair, of course, and perhaps a burlesque revue.

Re: Very stupid questions off the top of my head

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

I'd watch that over and over, especially the part about your hair.

[justblue0162.livejournal.com]

1. Before I met you, I called my wife (who was not my wife then, but shhh) to calm me down. Would you have talked to me if I had called you before I met her today?

2. Where did you learn to sew?

3. What's the squickier Firefly pairing: Book/Jayne or the Bluehand guys?

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

1) Of course, silly. Except that if I didn't know you were going to call, I might not have answered the phone because I don't answer the phone. But if I'd known in advance or had a psychic premonition, I'd totally have talked to you. And I hope you're having a lovely, lovely time.

2) Back in the old days, we had to take home ec in school because we were girls and could not take shop. We had a semester of cooking and a semester of sewing. They did not include a semester of submitting to your husband, but they probably could have gotten away with that.

I've always loved fabric and clothes and color, and I've always wanted to make things. My grandmothers both sewed their own clothes and my mother did, as well. She made most of my clothes until I got to junior high, and it was actually not a factor in my geekiness since no one had cool clothes until they were a teenager back then. And, while I don't look particularly deformed, I actually do have a very strange set of body proportions (midget body, long legs) and I can't ever get a good fit in tailored garments from the store because my waist is, like, 3-4" shorter vertically than it's "supposed" to be.

Even though my family all sewed, I learned despite them. They were all very housewifely but I guess I got in the way or something.

3) Personally, I think Book/Wash is the worst pairing possible, but of the options, I'd have to say Book/Jayne. I'd like to read Bluehand slash, actually. See, I was watching Arieltoday (I've watched the entire thing several times now!) and thinking that the Bluehand guys have a very weird sort of connection that, while not traditionally sexual, is close in a very squicky way.

As much as I'm loving the show, though, I'm still not really seeing the slash. I like Mal with Inara. I like Inara. And I like River now. I have notions for Inara stories or River stories, but no pairings. Well, I can see Simon with River, but I don't want to write that one.

[justblue0162.livejournal.com]

1. She cooked me dinner :)

2. I took that class! I made a pillow shaped like a radio. Actual sewing has always eluded me though. I'm very excited to see Kicky's skirt!

3. It's just a ficlet, really. Two by Two. And actually, the only pairing that seems to genuinely squick me is Mal/River.

Isn't Ariel awesome? I still get chills when Mal says, "You did it to me, Jayne." Guh.

Um. Yeah. I'm babbling so I'm gonna go now. The little lady wants to go to the beach tomorrow :)

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

1) Is she a good cook? Or, rather, is she a keeper?

2) Hee! What shape is a radio? Rectangular, or something more exotic?

3) Thank you for the link. I think maybe I need to write something because I see it a little different... Mal/River? That would never happen, though, would it?

Wear sunscreen!

[mei-x.livejournal.com]

1) What event/thing appeared to be bad at first, but eventually turned out to be for the best?

2) Imagine that you were given the pick of any designer, living or dead, to create clothes for you. Who would you choose?

3) What kind of old lady do you think you'll be? What will 70 year old Jed be like?

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

1) There are probably a lot of them, but my first thought is my move back to Tennessee. It was such a relief when I thought I'd "escaped," but I was really miserable back in Seattle. In just a couple of years away, everything had changed--job, friends, economics, everything. And it wasn't for the better.

It's really only been the last few months that I've stopped whining constantly about how much I hate it here. Because, really, I don't. There are very few places we could live where I could spend a year-plus doing nothing much that would allow us to scrape by financially.

I'm close to so many places I like--a day or two of driving from just about anywhere east of the Rockies (if you drive like me, at any rate), and I do like to drive. I've got fannish friends a couple hours away, and my own personal dress-up doll (i.e., Kicky) just a few blocks over. I have a nice house, though I mostly wander around it in a daze and don't notice how pretty it is most of the time.

2) Gosh: Thinking out loud: I love Madeleine Vionnet, but her dresses weren't cut for my body type. Paul Poiret or maybe the modern equivalent/copycat, Romeo Gigli. Surreal and whimsical Elsa Schiaparelli. Adrian, the Hollywood costume designer. Basically, a soft 1920s avant-garde silhouette, or a tailored, skirt-suit fantasy world with lots of gauntlet gloves and darling hats. If I can really only have the one, my lifestyle is must less structured (to say the least) than most...I'd have to pick Paul Poiret.

It's an odd combination, but I know I want Roger Vivier to make my shoes.

3) I don't mind getting older. In fact, I revel in it in a very superficial way. I am routinely mistaken for someone 10 or even 15 years younger than I am, so it's fun to be able to tell people that I'm actually very, very old. However, I panic at the idea of having to live through another 30 years. I feel like a complete failure (and it would be hard to argue the point otherwise), and it's disheartening to think of a great span of time that I will probably misuse or waste in some way. I'm not in a frame of mind in recent months where I hold onto the idea quite as tightly, but the notion that I could opt out at some point has been an odd comfort to me off and on for years.

However, ideally, a 70-year-old me will finally have all silver hair, will probably look 50-ish, will laugh too loud and flirt inappropriately and embarrass the 74-year-old Mr. Glove. I will have written a book that will have had less success than I'd like, because everything I do has less success than I'd like. I hope that some of the friendships that have been kindled in these last couple of years will endure--I miss having a history with people, and the thought that I could have 30 years of memories with people in addition to Mr. G is very nice indeed. This is terribly vague, I know, but I really don't think about this if I can avoid it.

My phobias: addressing the future, answering the telephone.

[miella]

1. Of all the mix CDs you've made, which is your favorite and why?

2. When you think of a place in which you're happy, what three things are always there?

3. What did your ten year old self know that you don't pay enough attention to now, even when you maybe should.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

1) Hmmm...well, they are all "for" different things. I always start out thinking that I'm going to put a bunch of new stuff on a mix, but typically it all gets weeded out in favor of songs I've really got a deeper affection for. The most recent that was on offer for other people was the Bleeding Heart mix that I did on my birthday. Instead of mailing it out, I zipped up all the pieces (cover, all mp3s, track list) and let people download it if they wanted. Heavy on the 1970s art rock, which wasn't how it started out when I began collecting the songs. The only "new" thing that stayed was the Yeah Yeah Yeahs song Maps. Because it's the most recent, that would be my favorite, but I love the ones I sent out to people in the last wave, and I listen to them all the time. I've got a "transistor radio" mix of dirty pop from my childhood that I'm perfecting, and I like that one a great deal. I take my mixes seriously ;)

I focus on how the songs sound leading into one another (including the end and beginning tracks for autorepeat players), and sometimes I have vague thematic ideas, but usually any deeper meaning comes from Mr. Glove listening and explaining to me. He does the same with my dreams, and I almost always agree with him. I can interpret anyone and anything but myself, apparently.

2) I'm a very dissatisfied person. The notion of being consistently happy in any place or situation is completely foreign to me. But any place where I have really cold water, mud-thick coffee, and someone I like to talk with is going to be a happy place.

3) I was an oddly mature child; I'm an oddly immature adult. My 10-year-old self was old for her years, but very naive in many ways. My parents did me a favor, in a way, by teaching me nothing and giving me no guidance--basically, they smoked a lot of pot and preached a lot of platitudes via Beatles lyrics. When reality ran counter to information like, "Love is all you need," I was surprised and deeply wounded. I was well into my 20s before I stopped being shocked by how cruel and strange people could be. I don't think I'm jaded now, but I also don't feel like I've lost anything that a 10-year-old me would have valued. I still like dolls and make-believe and writing stories. I still think both boys and girls are pretty. I like animals and shiny things and velvet and cake. I no longer pretend I'm a horse, but that's the major difference.

[miella]

1. Would you believe I completely freaking missed all the birthday hubbub? I'm such a spaz. I'm blaming my on-again, off-again lj time of late. Happy belated.

I now, of course, had to go look, since my brain went "new mix? where? what?" and I had no recollection. Now, of course, the question is, just how big is that file? Part of me says, yay, new mix!, while the other part says, yes, but you're on dialup, that evil of evils. Damn.

I'm completely intrigued by the "transistor radio" mix, and I never thought you took your mixes anything but seriously. Hence, my question. :)

including the end and beginning tracks for autorepeat players

I actually specifically noticed this on Landscape. I'll have to pay more attention on the others, next time.

2. But any place where I have really cold water, mud-thick coffee, and someone I like to talk with is going to be a happy place.

Those are excellent choices, and they make me smile. :)

3) I no longer pretend I'm a horse, but that's the major difference.

But you know, I hear you have glorious hair, and I can completely see you tossing it as if it were a mane. It's actually a pretty nice little picture up there in my head. It's all reddish and shiny, and tosses nicely. I forget--isn't it actually red, or am I completely making that up? Hrm.

*toddles off*

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

The birthday was rather overwhelming. Considering how much I feel like an outsider, I sure had a lot of people saying nice things to me on The Day. Basically, I think I might be full of shit when it comes to understanding how I fit into this particular social network...

Anyway: Bleeding Heart. I'll add you to the mix filter. If it's too big to get via dialup, let me know, and I'll burn you a copy.

And my hair is reddish. In fact, that's one of my few complaints about it: I've been trying for a dark, ashy brown for years, but it always turns chestnutty, and now that summer (and sun) is coming, Ive' decided to work with it instead of against it this year. Highlights! I'll go lighter and be calico for a few months...

[miella]

Whee! My dialup failed to choke on the file, so I will be burning and taking home with me tonight. Thank you! I am always happy to find new music, or new combinations of old music. *g*

Personally, I'm fond of red shades, but it may be because I know so many. I can completely understand the frustration, though.

I'll go lighter and be calico for a few months...

I think the real question here is, will you purr? Because, I mean, purring.

[jfc013.livejournal.com]

1. What is your biggest fear?

2. What do you like on pizza?

3. Who's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen?

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

1) Not mattering, even in a tiny way. There were very high hopes for me when I was a child. I was supposed to be a genius, but the situation was such that everyone just sat back and watched and waited for me to blossom into something amazing and world-changing all on my own. Clearly, that hasn't happened.

2) Cheese, cheese and more cheese! Pesto! Tomatoes, either fresh or sundried. There's a place here that makes a pizza with a white garlic sauce, superthin layers of potato, bacon and cheese...it's like a breakfast pizza. Basically, I love anything that isn't onion or bird meat or fish. Onion spoils everything it touches, so far as I'm concerned.

3) Elevator at my office building, 1985. I was 19. I stepped in to go back upstairs after eating my lunch on a bench outside (it was a nice day) and there she was: tiny (maybe 5 feet), perfect dusky skin, giant green-gold eyes dominating a foxy little face with a pointed chin, and waist-length, wavy, caramel-colored hair with what I'm sure were natural blond streaks. Obviously at least partially of Indian (as in India) descent. She was in jeans and a checked blouse, very casual. My jaw dropped and I fell back against the elevator wall gaping at her. She smiled sweetly; she must have been used to such reactions. I tried to think of something I could say, but...I was 19. I wasn't yet capable of telling strange women that I found them beautiful.

I never saw her again, of course. She certainly went a long way toward helping me define my "type." Tiny girls, darker than me, with "strong" noses. Also solidified my fascination with all things Indian: gods, food, colors, yoga.

[jfc013.livejournal.com]

Not mattering, even in a tiny way. There were very high hopes for me when I was a child. I was supposed to be a genius, but the situation was such that everyone just sat back and watched and waited for me to blossom into something amazing and world-changing all on my own. Clearly, that hasn't happened.

I almost have that kind of background, with the "Okay, Genius: do something" guidance, so therefore I have mostly done nothing. At least I take comfort in the fact (well, personal notion, anyway) that my fic will count as something to someone.

Trust me, hon--you matter, to me if no one else (which I doubt greatly)!

Cheese, cheese and more cheese! Pesto! Tomatoes, either fresh or sundried. There's a place here that makes a pizza with a white garlic sauce, superthin layers of potato, bacon and cheese...it's like a breakfast pizza. Basically, I love anything that isn't onion or bird meat or fish. Onion spoils everything it touches, so far as I'm concerned.

I'm not with you on the onion (though I go through a lot of chewing gum!), but sign me up for one o' them white garlic and potato pizzas! Sounds scrumptious!

As regards #3, I could probably go along assuming I was 100% straight (I do liek boiyz so much!), if it weren't for the one-in-a-couple-thousand women who takes my breath away! It's usually somebody I know well, too--just beauty doesn't usually do it for me, but a combination of looks, personality, intelligence, and humor. There are a couple of women who, if they asked just right, might lure me away from ashtalet, but don't tell him I said that, 'kay? ;)

[twigged.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

Do you want me to call Rooms to Let today?

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Um, sure. I haven't heard from anyone else, and I don't think we should let it drag out too long.

*hugs back*

[twigged.livejournal.com]

Mmm...looks like I need you to email me the website again. I can't access old emails remotely. D.

[reetchick.livejournal.com]

All righty, then.

1. Assume you have to spend the day with me again *pause for shriek of disbelief and terror*. This time, I have only one of the chicklets with me. Which one shall I bring?

2. Tell me about one thing (person, situation, flavor, album, trip, whatever) you were surprised to realize you enjoy.

3. What is the most spiritual experience you've ever had

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

1) Hmm...well, actually, this isn't all that tough. Because as much as I liked all of your children, I haven't spent enough time with you to actively desire distractions ;) I'd have to say the littlest chicklet because, although she certainly has demands, a shriek that makes ears bleed, and a tendency to lose her shoes, she is of an age where she does not have much interest in either telling adults her thoughts or understanding what they are talking about. And I'm selfish--I want you as much to myself as possible.

2) I was surprised at how much I like Utah. Land of Mormons, melons, sandstone, and...not much else. I love Utah. It's gorgeous and raw. Moab is--or was, about eight years ago--an extremely cool place, full of gorgeous, sunburned, athletic, tourist-hating kids in vintage sundresses and baggy shorts sneering at those of us who were passing through. It's a mountain biking mecca, and Mr. G was off hurting himself while I spread out on a blanket and read Ursula Hegi's Stones From the River under a tree and ate literally buckets of fresh watermelon all day long. Other than a few tent caterpillars falling on me (well, and the oppressive 100+ temperatures at the coolest times), it was pretty well perfect.

3) They're all really different, the experiences that fall in that category, but in recent years they've had mostly to do with landscapes, and distortion of landscapes through weather. Driving through horizontal rainbows in California almond country, the trees a foam of creamy white behind the colors. Mojave desert at rush hour (yes, there's rush hour all the way out in the desert), when I realized (driving bumper to bumper at 95+ mph, so an act of faith itself) that if I pulled off the road, I could disappear forever, change everything, turn myself inside out. Crossing the mountains in New Mexico, driving barefoot in summer clothes, and suddenly hitting a wall of snow. Standing at the edge of the ocean in Oregon, brown foam crawling up my boots, then rolling over the top edges and soaking my feet, and I was unable to do anything about it; I had to retreat. Anything where I get to realize that nature isn't concerned with me, specifically, is terribly freeing. Feeling tiny scares me, but when it's in relation to something semi-planetary/non-human, it also thrills me. I am suspicious of the idea of a god who cares about individual humans; it seems like wasteful micromanagement. I love the idea of a god who will sweep us all out of the way if we make too many irritating mistakes. I'm always alone when I have these very non-verbal moments of profound joy; I don't think they could happen for me with another person beside me.

[sarahjane12.livejournal.com]

1) If you could own any piece of art, what would it be?

2) If you could travel to a world where the town of Smallville existed and were there for only 24 hours, what would you do?

3) If you were given the chance to move to any city, which one would it be and why?

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

1) Oh, good one... Off the top of my head, two major candidates: John Singer Sargent's Madame X or Anselm Kiefer's Die Orden der Nacht. I can't find a picture of the Kiefer, which is in the collection of the Seattle Art Museum, but here's a picture of another Kiefer which at least shows his style: Nigredo Die Orden der Nacht shows a figure lying/sleeping/dead beneath a field of sunflowers. Everything is gray, or a dirty gray-gold. The thing is huge, about 12 feet tall by 16 feet wide, and the paint is built up in thick, cracking slabs that look like asphalt. It's not pretty. But when I saw it, I felt like someone had kicked me in the chest, and I started to cry. However, maybe I don't want to feel that way every day.

Off the top of my head, I'd say that other artists in contention would be Frida Kahlo, Hans Bellmer, Francis Bacon, Robert Rauschenberg, Deborah Butterfield, Darren Waterston and Joseph Cornell, but it would be ridiculously difficult for me to pick a specific piece from any of them. In fact, if I truly had this option, I'd take weeks to decide, and I'd research like a fiend, and I'd probably end up with some little pottery shard from the fourth century...

So, okay, it's Madame X. Or maybe the one of Betty and Ena Wertheimer. Hell. I can't really decide. If I say it's Madame X, I immediately begin to feel terribly deprived. And I'm going to New York next month, so I'll be seeing tons of art in person for the first time, and I'll probably come up with something new then.

And now I'm remembering pieces from a Jasper Johns exhibit, and the Joseph Beuys show that really surprised me, and I'm wondering what some of my old friends are up to art-wise...

I can't answer this question.

2) Well, duh. I would find Mr. Lex Luthor and figure out a way to have sex with him without subsequently wanting to murder him. It must be possible, though we haven't seen anyone manage it onscreen.

Actually, assuming I can get an audience and that people would listen to me, I'd try to talk to Clark about the dangers of treating Lex like he's stupid. I would try very hard not to mention the obvious Big Gay Love, because once Clark decides to stop insulting Lex's intelligence, the BGL will just happen without any help from me.

I would suggest to Ms. Lang that she's a tedious little hypocrite, but I'd think of a nicer way to say it.

I'd borrow some of Chloe's shirts.

I'd look for Chad. I really want to meet Chad.

3) If we're talking about places I've been to, I'd have a hard time choosing between New Orleans or Portland, OR. I miss the West Coast, and I miss many, many Portland-specific things (although I lived in Seattle). However, New Orleans is...New Orleans. And as much as I miss the Pacific coast, I've lived there already. The why: The food, the attitude, the huge amount of effort people like to put into their playtime, the way all the French street names are pronounced as if they were the flattest, most Midwestern English possible, fabulous live jazz...so many reasons. It's flat as a pancake, so you can ride a bike everywhere with little effort. It's just a lot of fun, and I like fun ;)