because you didn't ask, I'm telling you anyway

[oiran]

The other day, there was a call for porn from a friend (and since it was friends-locked, I'm not naming her), and someone suggested belamionline.com, and I seconded that recommendation and told her to check to see if they still offer the "day pass" for about $5, since otherwise it's just gallery after gallery of tease. But even when you get inside, it gets contrived pretty quickly (albeit, usually not over the course of just one day. heh.) because of the silly storylines, the weird positioning (the one-hand-behind-the-back butler-sex), the lizardy kisses, etc. I've been thinking a lot about porn today, but not in a particularly salacious manner. Instead, I found myself making a list: things I want to see done differently in visual (video) porn, additions and subtractions both:

• Include the donning of condoms. Not that I think it's all that inherently sexy, but the magically wrapped cocks annoy me. And it could be made sexy, probably.


• I don't think I've ever seen anyone prepare their partner for anal sex on film. So, a lube scene would be nice.


• A "penetration shot" that's actually of the person's face. Or both faces. Maybe both at once, in profile.


• Real kissing (not the freaky lip-licking thing that passes for kissing).


• Any hint that the people involved actually like each other.


• Any hint that the people involved actually know each other.


• Ambient sounds of whatever they're doing (breathing, grunting, etc.) rather than an overdub of heavy breathing.


• Realistic positioning, even when it might block the view of the act taking place. Once I've seen that the guy has placed his cock in someone else's body, I tend to believe he's still got it in there when he begins moving around. I've never worried that the other party says, "No, just do the penetration, then you have to stop," and then they fake the rest of the sex.


• Get rid of the Frito nails, especially on the "lesbians." Ow. And get rid of the black lipliner while you're at it.


• There are good fake breasts. Unfortunately, most of those I've seen on video are not the good kind.


• I'd like to see a money shot that isn't, i.e., coming during penetrative sex, not interrupting it to jerk off every single time.


• More shots that aren't just Tab A sliding into Slot B about a thousand times, with special attention to the obvious loops that are intended to draw out the time until a money shot is deemed appropriate.

I haven't seen this in gay porn, but there is/was a recent trend in het porn to have unprotected sex, unprotected anal sex, then immediately go to the blowjob. Ew. I don't care how many enemas that girl has had, or how sanitized her ass…that's just gross. Even worse when it's not her ass he's just pulled out of, but the ass of the other girl (there's always another girl…why is my sex life so lacking in that extra girl?). Transgressive, sure, and on some level I guess I applaud that…but it completely turns me off. Makes me want to brush my teeth seven or eight times, then gargle with bleach. Also, the barebacking is clearly a bad idea, as the recent news about positive HIV tests in the LA adult industry proves.

I hesitate to add "a real story" to the things I'd like to see. Based on the cringe-worthy story offerings I've seen in porn--the "we're friends doing it for the first time--outdoors!" romance storylines for many of the Bel Ami vids, for instance--I might just want to see people showing up for the shoot, saying hello, air-kisses, casual catching-up conversations while they get ready, etc., and then getting down to business. Because I never believe anything about the scenarios. Never. Ever. I'd rather see what really happens when you show up to "act" in an adult film. Let's meet the fluffers!

Like everyone else, I've got a digital camcorder. I just need to meet some pretty (because I'm shallow), dirty show-offs who'll have sex in front of me. Easy, right?

Any additions? Different ideas?

And now I'm going to watch the last two eps of Yami no Matsuei. And then I'll dither about which project to tackle...

Comments

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

I totally should produce gay porn. Jacyn and I have talked about doing that, except there's the part about how we have no fucking clue to overcome...

I can burn you a set of YnM. I have just discovered that the manga set I have (downloaded from sakura crisis) is not complete and I am semi-frantic about that ;)

Unlike AnK (have you watched it?) these characters have dimension, and my response to it is very gooey and girlie and beribboned and sparkly.

[twigged.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched AnK yet. I haven't watched any of my SV season 2 dvds yet either, and I've had them for a week. Hope to get to them this weekends, though. :)

But yeah, I'd love to check that series out!